Summer is Over......

I opened my closet for some reason today and just glancing at all my high heels and flip flops  made me kind of sad that summer is over. It still feels like summer outside but it isn't supposed to be. I had an unusual summer I guess. For me....Then in the end of August I got my newborn grand daughter Tay and haven't written on here but I do have a web site as most of you know about Tay and I.

I met this guy back in March who was a performer by singing and playing bass guitar but we just text and didn't really see him perform until the summer. He was a very popular guy and I guess all that kind of went to my head that I knew this man who was performing in front of a lot of people. He ask me to come hear him sing at the senior center. He sang country there. I did. Then he told me he played and sang blues music at a lounge on the southwest side of Fort Worth. I talked Jana into going with me to hear him. He was a really good bass player. Lots of women went up to him constantly hugging him.

After that first time I went every Thursday to hear him. Not my kind of thing to go to a lounge at night sometimes alone but I did. I hardly missed  a time. He had played there for twenty years. During his breaks he always came and sat with me. That made me feel important. Girls would come up to him and start talking. But it was me he sat with.

He came over a couple of times to my home  and we would talk but other than that I just seen him when I went to see him perform. We never actually went out on a date. He was always saying he had several girls to pick from and he had to make a decision. He said I wasn't the only one. That should have been enough for me. I should have said forget it. We text  a lot but he sometimes wouldn't answer me for days.

Then one day in texting he ask me if I felt the sexual tension we had. I had never heard of that. I read about it online and yes we did have it. It said there could be  a room full of people but you only had eyes for each other . It also said if you waited days to answer  call or text they liked you better. Which that is what happened. The longer he waited to talk with me the more I liked him.  When I would go see him perform when I walked in and saw him on stage with his guitar on his shoulders and playing and singing it was exciting! He would look at me a lot. Sometimes text me while he was playing saying I had on sexy slippers as he called them. I think he had a thing about shoes.

He told me girls he had been with in the past still came to hear him sing thinking they would get back together. I knew he was all about himself although he said he wasn't. The more I seen him play the better I liked him.

Then one night he was going to come over after performing at a place. He text and said he was going to be a little late because he wanted to go by the lounge and see someone he hadn't seen in a long time. I said okay. But he stayed until they closed there and then came over around 2 am. Thinking everything was okay. No it wasn't. You take me for granted like that. I am no longer that girl you thought I was. He didn't see anything wrong that he had done. He was so full of himself!

Moral to this story. Don't ever like anyone that is popular with everyone. They think they are something!

Seeing the shoes that I wore and the capris in my closet just made me sad. It was a summer to remember! And it wont happen again! But it was exciting at the time.

School Started Today......

School started back today. Lots of schools started yesterday but where my grand kids in White Settlement go it was today. It is kind of sad I think that summer is almost over. Fall is nice to look forward to though. Fall is one of my favorite seasons. Not hot or cold. Just right for a little while before winter sets in.

I thought my days of school was over and worrying about my kids liking or not liking it. That first day was always sad. I think Charles was the only one of my kids that got upset that first day. At that time they didn't have kindergarten. He was in the 1st grade. When I left him he looked so sad with tears in his eyes. I will never forget it. We were in a strange town....Garland. He had no friends yet.

Today Jana always put pictures of the kids with signs going to school and then at the end of the year again. They looked happy in there new clothes all ready for school. I got real sad though when I seen her oldest Kaiden's picture of him walking in the parking lot to his school. He starts middle school this year. It is the old high school here in White Settlement. It showed him with his back pack walking along. I don't think he was near as upset as Jana and I were. He has several problems but he is smart as a whip. I was just worried about him going to different classes and if he would know where to go.

Jana said he was real excited about the cafeteria. A lot different than elementary school cafeterias. He said they had smoothies and sandwiches something like they have at Subway. A choice of two        different kinds of food. He is picky about his food so he will like that.

They all went to school. They were all excited and they made it through the day. Just as lots of kids did and will always do. I have four grandkids in college too. All in different places. One grand daughter goes to TCU and this is her last year. One is in Sweetwater. One goes to Mississippi college and she is great in sports. Another one in Oklahoma.

School is on . Kids are happy. Parents are happy! All is right with the world!

August 16, 1977.......39 Years Ago

I will never forget that day in August when the TV program went off for a moment and they announced, " Elvis has died!" I was in a state of shock. He was supposed to go on a tour that next day. This could not be true. But I found out it was very true.

I had loved Elvis ever since he started his music career back in 1955 I guess. He had come to Sweetwater twice I believe back in 1956. I was only 11 so I didn't get to go see him perform. My sister who was five years older did and I would never hear the end how he picked her up off the ground and kissed her. She was a tiny thing. Much smaller than me.

Today I think he is even more popular than back then. I think Priscilla and Lisa Marie have done a good job keeping it all alive. I went to Graceland about ten years ago. I stood at his grave with tears streaming down my face. I never got to see him alive.

I did go see Lisa Marie here in Fort Worth about two years ago. She is very slender. She has a lovely voice but nothing like her Daddy. I know he would be so proud of her! I kept thinking maybe she will have a little Elvis but I don't really think any of them look like Elvis .Except maybe a few characteristics like her eyes and mouth. She has twins even. And her daughter Riley is an actress.

I don't think there will ever be anyone in the world that could ever sing as good as Elvis. He had a beautiful voice and he will never  be forgotten. I am glad I was young in the time he was popular and got to live it. To me the 50's was the best years!

I Am Determined .......

This has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but I am winning. Slowly but surely. You are saying, "What is she winning?"  I have got thru all the stages I have to go thru almost to be able to have new teeth after 29 years. That probably doesn't sound that hard to you. But it has been hard.

I got dentures when I was 43 years old. My dentist in Sweetwater evidently done a good job. I only had one impression and never had to go back for adjustments. After so many years they had wore down and it wasn't easy to eat with ill fitting teeth. I don't know if that was all the only  reason I had problems for the last few years having trouble swallowing .  I had anxiety too and all of that has got better. Since I am alone. I really don't understand how I am under less stress alone but I am.

I decided it was time to get a new set of dentures and I have always been so nervous going to the dentist. I went anyway. I got my impressions done. I had to go three times before I got them. Little did I know what I was in for when I did get them. I have been back 7 times. Every time I eat very much there is another place hurting. I cant eat anything hard. I am just hoping I don't lose any weight.

My dentist is closed from Friday to Monday. Every time I need an adjustment it seems to be on the weekend. At least it don't take long and I have gotten so used to this dentist I don't mind going. He is a very good  dentist and just  a few blocks from my house.

My ex husband got teeth and then he never would wear them. You have  got to   do that to get used to them. I thought mine would be easy since I already had some. Was I wrong! These are longer and thicker. It is like learning to eat all over again. At first I couldn't even drink with them. I got that down now. I can even eat soft foods. Hard food hurts so I have not mastered that yet. But I will. I have my Moms determination and I can do anything. Eventually.... And if I can do it anybody can.

Our Mini Vacation......

I had been wanting to go  on a little trip to my hometown for awhile. I don't like traveling alone. Jana had got her a new van and had been wanting to see her Dad and let the kids see their grandpa so we decided to go.

Last Friday we left Fort Worth for Sweetwater. It was a nice trip . We stopped on the way and had our picnic lunch at a rest stop.  We went ahead and went on to Big Springs  so Jana could see her Grandma and her Aunt June. June is my favorite sister in law. When I was married to her brother she was always making something for the kids or doing something for us. She is one of the nicest people I know. We had such a good visit. She and I talked about everything. And Myrtle, Jana's Grandma they say doesn't  say much. She did talk to me when June went to get chicken for everyone .

When I was married to Myrtles son I don't think she liked me much. Now I think she does . We had a nice visit . The kids got to meet there Great Grandma and great Aunt June. I hope we can do this more often.

Later we went to Sweetwater and found our hotel. The kids couldn't wait to get in the swimming pool. I have a lot of anxiety about that. I stayed in the room. I didn't even want to see. Kaylee had floaties I had gotten her the year before. I just read my book while they were in the pool.

It was pretty crowded in the room with six people but it worked out fine. I was really surprised the kids went to bed so easily. The next morning we went to free breakfast at the hotel. It was very good. They had sweet rolls, cereal, eggs, biscuits and gravy, waffles, etc. Orange juice, milk and coffee.

After our breakfast we went shopping . Found a cute little boutique and bought a few things for someone that is moving into a new place. Jana and I got lotto tickets from a liquor store that had sold a 50 million dollar ticket a few years back. I got three right. Oh, well. Ate lunch at the Dairyland. I had carhopped there at the age of 16.

We went to the museum around noon. It is in a big two story house that was a funeral parlor at one time. It was really a lot of history there and the kids really enjoyed it. Elvis had been at the Municipal Auditorium back in 1955 and it had pictures of him. My sister had seen him then. Lots of old cars and old fire truck. Just a lot of interesting stuff. After we got out of there we stopped at another store. These little stores have stuff we don't see in Fort Worth. Then back to the hotel for a short nap.

After a nap we went out to Jana's Dads. The kids didn't really know him. Kaylee was soon calling him Grandpa. They seemed to get along good. He wanted me to go with him to Wal Mart so I did. We have been divorced for 32 years. After we left there we ate dinner at Skeet's. They had excellent food. Went back to the hotel and they all went swimming. I read my book. Surprising all the kids went to bed really well when it was time.

Next morning we went to eat breakfast again at the hotel. Packed all our stuff and put in the car.We went out to Johnny's for awhile. After that we went to K Mart which is closing. We found some really good buys. I had to go by Allen's and get some potato salad. That is just a tradition any time I am in Sweetwater to get potato salad there. It is great! Then we went to a Mexican restaurant to eat our last meal there. It wasn't the greatest.

Then we were on the road home. I drove until we got to Clyde. Jana drove the rest of the way. I heard Connor say he loved this vacation. Him and Kaiden had always ask me when they get to go back to Sweetwater. I had took them to Sweetwater a couple of times. Kaiden said he hoped we got to go back next year. I hope we get too also! It was nice to get away from the big city for a little while!

I Am A Sissy But I Did It........

I have never had a mammogram and everyone has a different opinion about them. From it feels like  a truck ran over you and smashed you flat to it don't hurt. When I heard my sister in law had to have a mastectomy for breast cancer it made me stop and think I needed to have  a mammogram. I have a pen pal who has breast cancer and will have to take pills the rest of her life.

My doctor called right about the time all of this was taking place and said a mobile unit would be at the doctors. That would be so much easier than having to go downtown or some place hard. I decided it was time and I done it last Friday. It was easy. It didn't hurt at all. A little pressure and that  was it. I was so relieved. Now I just have to wait for the results.

I done something else I never thought I would get done either. I got new dentures after 29 years. I am so afraid of dentists. It has been an ordeal. I went and got impressions. The next week was the wax bite which takes longer than the impressions. The next week you see the wax impression with teeth on them. A week later which was last Monday I got the teeth.

Then the trouble starts. I had to go back because they were not fitting right. Such pain. Now the weekend I am having to wait until Monday to go back again. I cant even wear them. They hurt so bad.

When I got my dentures 29 years ago an impression was done and that was it. A few weeks later got the dentures and never had to have adjustments or anything. They fit fine. These seem so heavy and thick and I don't know if I will ever get used to them.

Monday it is back to the dentist. Next Monday back to dermatologist. I have roscea and have to see if it is better after medication for it. That was inherited from my Dad. Two of my daughter have it too. Oh well things from my Dad are mild. He was pretty healthy and died at 92.If he hadn't drank he would probably lived to be 100.

Today Makes Two Years Since I Wrote My First Blog....

This day two years ago I wrote my first blog. I don't write every week. I just write when I think I have something to write about. I have written 158 blogs in these two years. Any writing you do improves your writing. I know I need improvement but at least I try. I have written for three newspapers for a long time. When I first started at Abilene Reporter they had me write a short story so they could see if I knew how to write. He said he could tell I was a writer by the way I wrote. So, hey I am  a writer.

It is nice to go back and read some of the blogs I have written. Some are kind of interesting. At least to me. I know several of my friends on facebook always read my blogs. And I always read my friend Judy's too. She is a published author. I hoped someday to write a mystery but it is not going to write itself. You have to work at it to do it and I cant seem to find the time.

Anyway I guess I will just keep on with my blog. I had a busy day today. I went shopping this morning at Kohl's. On the way home I stopped by my favorite BBQ place and got a sandwich with potato salad. Later today I went with Jana to clean a car lot we have done for 10 years. Then we went to office supply place to get started on school supplies for kids. That is the smart way to do it. She gets school supplies early when they are on sale.

I cooked a cornish hen and we had a salad for dinner. Now I am in my bedroom finishing this blog. Then I will be reading  " Wedding Cake Murder" before I go off to sleep.

I have a good life that I am very grateful for. I read. I write. I may not be rich but I manage to pay my bills. I am healthy. I still work at 71.

Count your blessings. I do.

Not A Good Day........

This has not been a good day. I heard that the baby (Jordyn)that was 5 months old and finally home passed away from SIDs. She weighed only 15 oz. to start with. She was in the hospital for four months. She had been home for a month. She had gained weight and everything looked great.

I had followed this baby's journey from day 1. Her grandma was my daughters best friend in school. I don't know why things happen like this but I guess there is a reason. It brought back memories from when my daughter Paula died. Her birthday is on July 5th. She died two days later. An eighth month baby back in the day was hard to survive then. I cried a good bit of the day for both these babies that never got to live.

I thought in todays world it would all be okay. But not so.

On a different side I don't like to admit defeat but I don't think I can handle the job I have. I don't like to admit I am older and cant do everything I used to do but I cant. I had been throwing this free paper in River Oaks for almost a year. That was only 3,000. I started this one this week that had 11,500. I worked for three days on them. Oh, no. I cannot do all of that alone.

A lot of people tried to tell me that but I think I am tough and can do anything. It was 10 hours of work yesterday and last night I couldn't even go to sleep. Today I tried taking a nap and I couldn't take  a nap. I still don't feel sleepy. I hope I can sleep tonight. I have never been so tired I cant sleep.

We will see what happens I guess.

I Don't Like Dentists.....

Today I had a dental appointment. I hate dentists in the first place but they can make you have a pretty smile I guess and pearly white teeth. What would we do without them? I am glad this is my next to last appointment. The next one is to get those pearly white teeth.

I got dentures when I was 43. I lived in Sweetwater then and went to Dr. Brothers. He is gone now. I have had these teeth for 29 years so they must have been good ones. All they done back then was put this stuff in your mouth to make an impression. Few weeks later you have your teeth.

Well I found out times have changed. I went to the dentist here a number of times and I would always chicken out. Finally I found this one close to where I live and I went. I felt comfortable with him. They put this stuff like plaster of paris in your mouth with a needle like thing. Then they put this tray in there that is pretty big. He said I might have a gag reflex but I didn't. Leave that in there for 3 minutes he said but it seemed like 10. He had to use both hands to pry the top one out. It split my lips at the corner.

The next week I went back I didn't know what I was in for. I thought it would be easy after the impressions. Not so. They have these wax impressions of the plate part. They were too thick. He kept having to trim it. I bet I put those in my mouth twenty times. He finally got them like he wanted them. He had me bite down on them to see if they lined up right. Split lip again.

Today I went again and had to try on wax impressions with teeth in them. Thank goodness they turned out good. No grinding the teeth down. They are going to be an adjustment after wearing these that have wore down so  bad. It felt like my teeth were really tall. I am going to look so much better though and  eat so much better.

I thought I was getting them next week but he said he is out of town next week. So it will be the next week. I am so proud of myself for going and getting all of that done. It took a lot of courage on my part. You know there is a reason for all of that don't you?

This experience should make anyone that needs to get this done not want too. Ha. But again if I can do it anyone can.

Good Busy Weekend.......

I like it when I have a busy weekend. I get bored when I have nothing to do on the weekend. This weekend my daughter had a party for two of her boys and herself since all the birthdays were in June. Hers is today. Connors is the 30th and Colton's the 9th. Usually I give her party so that saved some money. I did help buy a few things to eat and got her a cake.

It was a great party. Kids all played in water out in the back. Had hot dogs and burgers. Afterwards after the kids left grownups had fun playing guitar and singing karaoke and adult drinks.

I left and went to hear a friend play bass and sing a little. I love music and he is really good. He performs at different places.

This morning it was church. I really love my small church. This afternoon Jana's Mom in law invited us all over to eat BBQ. It was great. We sat around and gossiped a little while. Then we had Coconut Crème pie and ice cream.

I came home and cleaned up in my yard some. I never work in the yard enough. Charles mowed the yard. Then tonight I watched a mystery movie. Those movies are from the books that Joanne Fluke writes. They are all about sweet desserts. Very good movie.

Now it is time for bed. Dentist again tomorrow but soon I will have a beautiful smile. You just wait and see.

Be Careful What You Ask For......

Last night in my prayers I ask if I could maybe get a job that paid more. My son has been staying here and helps out some. He is moving in a week or so . I need to make  a little more money than I do. And I ask if somehow I could get my dental needs taken care of. Dentists are so expensive.

Well today when I went to get the papers I do Vee told me the person who does White Settlement was quitting. They do 11,000 papers. If I can just find someone to help me with rolling them. That will be so much more money. It will be hard but well worth it.

Then my son Allen who plays professional poker said he was on his way to Vegas to play. He said he would win enough to pay my dental bill. He said if he didn't win he would still pay it. He said his punishment for sucking at playing poker. ha He is a good player.

I was so happy with those two things happening. Although everything wasn't good. Guys came to put on my roof today and  they didn't get through.They will be back tomorrow. We had a leak in the ceiling in the living room. We thought it was leaking from the roof. But it was still leaking yesterday. Not raining. It is from the AC pipes up in the attic I am sure. If my son can't fix that I will have to get a AC man out. They are not cheap.

But still all in all I had a good day. I wish my other prayer of getting a good man would come true. I am not even sure I need one of them. I seem to not have as much stress when I am alone. It does get lonely though. There are good things and bad things about everything I guess. If God sees fit to find me a good man it will happen. If not I guess I will stay single. Either way I can be happy. I am feeling real good about my life right now. There are so many people a lot less fortunate than me. I thank God every day for my kids. They are such blessings!

I Reached 105 Today!

It has taken me about 5 years to get back to 105. I got an anxiety problem when I was still married to Jeff. I don't know if he was the cause of it or not. I just know I weighed 125 and I went down to 93. I started seeing a therapist and I tried everything he told me to do. Write in my journal every day. Look at the tree in my back yard and think peaceful thoughts . Be positive.  I tried everything but nothing helped much.

I had a swallowing problem and it wasn't anything wrong with my throat. If I was happy I could swallow better. If I was stressed I couldn't hardly eat at all. I could snack better than I could eat meals. I learned to take a drink of water with every bite I took. If the phone rang I couldn't talk while I was seating. I was a basket case. I know I have came a long ways when I see how much I have improved.

One year at Christmas I had cooked all morning and sat down to eat with the family. I took about five bites and all of a sudden I just could not swallow. I sat there with tears rolling down my face. Jeff ask me what was wrong. No one understood what I was going thru. It was so hard to explain. The therapist said I had post traumatic stress like soldiers get from the tragedy I had when my daughter died.

After Jeff left I very gradually got better. Every meal was such a problem to get thru. I lived on crackers and candy for awhile. I dreaded every meal. Most people take for granted to be able to eat. The more I had the problem the more I worried about every bite I took. Of course it didn't get any better.

Just this year it has all gotten better. I still worry sometimes but most of the time I don't even think about it. Up until I was 50 years old I weighed 95 lbs. My sister never weighed over 89 lbs. Her two boys were very small like her. Some of my grandchildren are small too so it is all inherited I guess.

I try eating anything fattening I can and it has helped. I gained a few ounces a week . Finally today I stepped on the scale and it showed I weighed 105 I was overjoyed. That means a lot to me. I over come a lot of problems and I done it alone. And I got off of anxiety medicine the doctor told me I would never be able to get off of after 5 years. I feel like I have accomplished so much. And I have!

Time Sure Does Fly....

It was a year ago today my son Charles and I went to his Dad's funeral. He lived in Brownwood, Texas. It seems like this past year has flew by. I had to drive in the rain today for six hours but that beat where I had to go to last year at this time.

My brother Wayne was there. I don't see him often. He lives in San Angelo, Texas. A friend of mine and Paul's was there too. I hadn't  seen him in years. His wife had died the year before. I wish I could have seen Jean before she died.

I met Paul when I was in the second grade. They lived right down the street from us. There were six boys in that family. My Dad moved a lot but we were in Brownwood at that time. I guess later we had moved and came back because I met him again and went to the movies with him in the  sixth grade. Moved away again and then met him again when I was 17. My Dad moved from Sweetwater to Brownwood every year. I guess he couldn't figure out which place he liked best.

I was around Paul for awhile and then one day my Dad decided to move again to Hamlin. Off we went. Paul went to Washington. We wrote letters every week. I got a job carhopping at the only fast food place in Hamlin. Paul wrote me he was coming back to Brownwood. I went back there and stayed with my brother.

We got back together and got married. I was 18, he was 19. Mistake of my life. He was one wild guy. Cheated on me so many times I could not count them. We stayed together for 7 years but one day I left with three small kids and one on the way. (That I didn't know about) I guess my life wasn't ruined entirely with him. I wouldn't have my four kids if I had not been with him.

He changed with his 5th wife and turning 40 I guess. I think some people can change if they love that person enough. Anyway he went on to be  a successful man with several businesses of his own. Tried to do better with his kids.

I forgave him long ago for all the torment he put me through. We live and learn I guess. He was my first love and you can never forget your first love. RIP Paul.

I Do Love Myself........

A lady I consider a friend the other day told me I have to love myself for anyone else to love me. I got to thinking about that. Do I love myself? Yeah I am pretty sure I do. I know I don't hate myself. I am pretty well happy most of the time. I am a nice person. I help people when I can. I don't have a guilty conscience about anything.

My life is probably better right now then it has ever been. I have a nice house and I have a nice car. I can pay my bills and have  a little left over for shopping. I don't do without anything. I am not starving. I go to a movie every now and then or out wherever I want to go .

Since I am single it does get a little lonely sometimes. Then I just get a grand child and not lonely anymore. I am glad to be alone awhile after that. I have never got along with men I guess or maybe I didn't have the right  one. Is there  a right one for me? I don't know.

Kaylee is spending the night tonight with me. We are watching what she wants to watch on TV. At 10 pm though we go lie down on my bed. I read and she watches more TV. I think my bed is my comfort zone. At night when I am alone I am glad when it gets to be 10. I usually go to my room. Not to go to sleep yet. I usually get online on my phone or laptop. Sometimes I write a few letters. I always have People magazines to read or the current book I am on. Right now I am reading Mary Higgins Clark 's new book.

I love my life and I love me!

It Was A Good Mother's Day......

It was a good day today. I don't see all my kids but I do hear from  them. That is more than some people get. This morning started out with John texting me telling me Happy Mother's Day. Three minutes later Allen did. It's a texting world when you cant even call I guess. My daughter Melanie did call a little later. It was nice to talk for a little while. I already knew I would be going to Jana's later for dinner.

I went to church and all the ladies was handed a carnation. The pastor talked about Mother's in his sermon. Honor Thy Father and Mother . I don't remember the chapter it was in but it was in Exodus where it said to honor you Father and Mother and you would lead a long life. That is one thing I can say. I never dishonored my Father or Mother.

After church my daughter Darla called. We had a nice conversation. Later my son Dustin text saying him and his wife Lana was sick and would not get to come today. Charles lives here with me so that was all of them. The girls call and the boys text.

I went over Jana's around 6. We had chicken or hamburgers. She had fixed the most delicious cake I had ever eaten. It had cool whip on top and it was good. She bought me a rose in a pot I can plant. I also got a bag of different things in it. And a card from the kids and one from her and Vasile. She is a very thoughtful daughter.

After dinner we watched a movie. And now I am home fixing to go to bed.

I think yesterday I done too much trying to pull weeds out of my flower bed. Connor came over and helped me. Today my legs hurt bad. I am so out of shape I guess. After we pulled weeds we went and saw the movie "Mother's Day." Very good movie. I recommend it.

Hopefully I wake up tomorrow and I am not hurting in my muscles. I never know I am doing too much until after I get through doing it.

I hope everyone had a nice Mothers Day. I couldn't ask for more except to hear from all my kids in some shape or form and I did.

First Time I Ever Been to May Fest ......

I went to May Fest Saturday and it was crowded! My grand daughter was dancing ballet and tap dance. It was kind of cool all day too. Which didn't help my sinus /allergy problems. It was worth it to get to see her dance though. I have to say she done a good job. (Of course I am not prejudice.) But she really was the best.

We had to walk a really long way from where we had to park. Jana's mom in law met us down there and I decided to ride back with her. Jana was going to take the kids on some rides for awhile. We started back on the long walk to her car. She said she knew where it was . Well, she didn't. We walked and walked and couldn't find it. So many cars! Finally Jana was leaving so we talked on the cell and they found us. Found Bev's car. We were so relieved.

Today my legs are so sore. I guess I am not used to walking much. I can say I have been to May Fest now. I don't know if I would want to go again. I don't like crowds.

Today Jana, Kaylee and I went to church. The pastor had told us  ladies to wear hats for Mothers Day, A lot of ladies did but some didn't. Of course Jana and I did. I had bought Kaylee one a month or so ago. She couldn't find it and she was a little upset.

They served a lunch to us too . They brought us plates to our table already filled. It was chicken, broccoli, potatoes and squash with a roll. And then cupcakes for dessert. These other things too that I didn't know what it was but it was delicious. A pastry thing with crème inside. A very nice lunch.

Weekend is over now. I have an appointment with the  dermatologist. We will see how that goes tomorrow. But for now it is reading time and then nite nite time.

Claritin Is Great........

I have always been scared of medicine. One reason being I have Mitral Valve Prolapse and just having caffeine makes me have skipped beats and flutters. I have had that for 32 years. The doctors have always told me not to take any sinus medicines or anything that has a D in it like a decongestant. Most of the time I suffer thru whatever sickness I have. I have lots of sinus problems but I can take an antibiotic.

Today I was having severe problems with allergies/sinus. Jana told me to try her children's Claritin. I took half the dosage it tells kids to take being the big sissy I am. Wow! It did nothing to me and I started feeling better in a little while. Meanwhile the doctor called in an antibiotic for me. Now I was wondering if I could take both together. My daughter Melanie googled it and it said it was okay. So down the hatch went my antibiotic. I hope I feel worlds better tomorrow. Once I take something and it doesn't make my heart flutter I am good. I will take it anytime. You just don't know how happy that made me to know I can take Claritin.

All these years since I was diagnosed with heart palpitations I took my heart meds but hardly anything else. Last year when I had the laser surgery and I was  in such pain I did finally take the pain pills. It was hurting so bad nothing could make it any worse. I lived over the pain medication so I was good. They had given me three or four medicines but I didn't take the rest. I used to take an anxiety medicine for four years. I quit taking it just this year and just trying to calm down and not have any anxiety. Of course that is not working too good but I am trying.

Tomorrow I will be driving for seven hours. That used to cause me anxiety. Not so much anymore. When I was married to Jeff several times he had to come pick me up. My anxiety was thru the roof and I couldn't make it home. Now there is no one to come get me so I just make it somehow. Just like when I was with him and I got down to 93 lbs. Now I weigh a whopping 104.7. I do better alone I guess.

I took my antibiotic. Now I am going to sleep. Goodnight all.

Glad The Weekend Is About Over......

I know people that work look forward to the  weekend . I work but not every day and the weekend seems long to me sometimes. This weekend was one of those times. I don't know why it can be different than other days but it is. And I guess that I get bored easily.

I seen no family all weekend so I had to make my own fun. I didn't do a very good job of that. Yesterday I stayed home most of the day. Text my daughter Melanie quite a bit. A guy I know text most of the day. I should have done something constructive but I didn't. I would rather complain I have nothing to do when in fact I have  a lot to do.

A friend called late in the afternoon wanting to know if I would like to go eat out where they had a live band. It was in River Oaks so we did. I had a Smirnoff. We stayed awhile and listened to the band then it was back to the house.

This morning I got up and went to church of course. I have not missed a Sunday since the pastors wife died back in January. I really like my small church. Everyone there is so friendly. How many church's do you go to where the pastor hugs you and tells you he loves you? Every Sunday he says this. A lady in the church came over to me too and said she loved me. She said I was just so precious. She said they all loved me to death. I have went to this church for 10 years off and on but now I am on all the time.

After church I ran a few errands I had to do then went home and napped for quite awhile. I thought about going to a movie but decided I didn't want to go anywhere. I just snacked. I didn't even have a meal. Now I am in my PJ's fixing to go to bed. I will read on my book. It is very good. It is called "A Girl's Guide To Moving On". Waiting after that I have "As Time Goes By" by Mary Higgins Clark and " Wedding Cake Murder" by Joanne Fluke. Mysteries. I do love a good mystery.

Oh and two exes called me today. My ex Guy called this morning. I really have nothing to say to that man. And then my ex husband who is Jana's daddy called me. I really don't have anything to say to him either. He ended up hanging up on me. That man has not changed since I was married to him twenty years ago. Makes me know I am better off alone. Even if it does get lonely sometimes.

I guess we will see what Monday has to offer. One never knows what is right around the corner. I lead such an exciting life.....lol

It Was A Good Weekend......

This weekend went fast. Most weekends kind of drag for me because I usually don't do too much. Don't get me wrong. I have plenty to do. Just most of the time I don't want to do what I could be doing.

It started out with Kaylee spending the night Friday night. That girl is very difficult to sleep with. She turns sideways in the bed. Kicks you in the side. I got up early and was tired from lack of sleep. After she got up we sat around watching "SpongeBob" and eating Frosted Flakes and a banana. I took her home about 11 am. She wasn't ready to go but I told her I would come get her later.

I ran a few errands and went home and had some lunch. Watched a mystery movie on TV. Nap time. I had a good nap after reading a little in my current book by Debbie Macomber. After the nap I cleaned my kitchen and dining rooms. My house looks so much better clean.

Around 6 I decided I had been home long enough. I went to Sam's to get some hot dog buns. They did not have the kind I wanted. Why do they always discontinue having everything I like? I used to get a case of IBC Root Beer but they quit having it. Next I went to the Party Store to get the orange slices I love. I get 45 of those at a time. Then I went to Half Price Book store . I did not see anything I needed there. After all I have 60 books to read.

It was getting very cloudy by then so I figure I need to get home. I went by to pick up Kaylee but she wasn't home. I just came home and read a little bit and then off to sleep.

This morning I got up early. Cleaned the living room, hallway and my office before church. After church I went to the Sonic and got a hamburger with tator tots and a cherry limeade. Naptime again. When I woke up the electricity was off. Oncor says there was 3500 outages. I went over to Jana's and watched a DVD with her I had bought back in January. Diane Keaton was in it. By the time it was over the electricity was back on, thank goodness. I came home and watched the season premiere of "The Good Witch." I love that show.

Now it's off to bed. And read and sleep. Very nice and peaceful weekend and rain.....

Dentists Makes Me Have So Much Anxiety......

I went to the dentist on Monday. I was determined to get new teeth. I found this place in Lake Worth where you can get all of this done in one day. I have not had new teeth in 28 years so it really is time. A few times in years past I would make an appointment and go that first time but chicken out before I  got everything done. Why is it that dentist scare you so bad? I got the worst part done years ago. I had teeth pulled and some required stiches. The whole time I was getting a couple of teeth pulled at a time  I had to take antibiotic. I had swelling and soreness from the stiches. I used to make an appointment and half the time cancel before time. When I did go the dentist would always say, " One of us is nervous."  That dentist done a real good job. My teeth never broke in 28 years. But they have wore down and it is time for new ones.

Anyway on Monday I went and had the exam. They had a price list starting cheap and going high. I really needed to study that to see which one I wanted. Plus they gave me an option of using the tray they had to make impressions or you could use your own teeth but if I did that I would have to go without teeth all day. Everyone that knows me knows I cannot do that. No one has ever seen me without my teeth. I told the dentist I would have to think about all of that and make another appointment.

If I had went ahead and done it that day it would be over by now. I know I would look and feel lots better. But the chicken I am I still have it to do.

I made a big mistake. I read online about how they do it now and what people said about having impressions made. When mine were done long ago they just put the goop in your mouth and let it harden and then take out. Now they have the tray they put in your mouth. That might be a little bit better but it is kind of big. One lady said online it was the longest five minutes she had ever spent. It takes at least five minutes and that dentist I went too said it took seven minutes for the top and seven for the bottom. You cant swallow during that time either. Can I go seven minutes without swallowing?

Today I called and made another appointment for Friday. At 8:00 am. I will get it done early before I have time to think about. You have to go three times during the day. First time is for the impressions. Next time at 11:30 to try the wax impressions to see if they fit right. Then at 4:30 to get them. Surely I can handle thirty minutes to make these impressions. I am going to try my best! Please Elaine don't chicken out this time!

So Grateful I Am Healthy and Sad About My Neighbor

I was thinking last Thursday when  I did the papers I was so very grateful that I was able to work hard as I do. It helps me physically and mentally I think. When I started doing papers back in July my then fiancé was helping me when he wasn't working that day. When I was hired they said it took two people because it wasn't easy to throw 3,000 papers and drive. It has been 9 months now. My arms have gotten stronger from doing the work. I feel better than I have in a long time.

It takes about six hours to do the papers in the car . About halfway through I take a lunch break. I crank up the 50s pop music on my Sirrus radio and relax and drive. I get  a lot of ideas looking at houses too. That is why I have an orange door and mailbox and bench and I want some  stars to go on the outside of my house. I didn't realize how many houses have stars.

Anyway I am glad I am physically able to do this job I do. I think work is good for you. Just sitting home doing nothing does not help anything. Exercise is good for you no matter what age.

That day after thinking about all I am grateful for that afternoon about 5 I noticed my next door neighbor was across the street talking on the phone. A single guy lived there and he was raising his two godchildren. I didn't know him too well but I have always seen him sitting on his porch or at night the door would be open and you could see the TV going. I felt  a little safer just knowing he was there. He hardly went anywhere.

Pretty soon a fire truck pulled up and two police cars. They all went inside. My neighbor came back home. Then an ambulance pulled up. I text her and ask her what was going on. She text me back, " I think the guy died."

She came over and told me the rest. One of the boys had come over and told her he couldn't get the man to wake up. She went over there. He was lying in the floor face down like he had fallen out of the chair. She turned him over and he was cold and clammy. She tried to find a pulse but couldn't. The boy told her the man said the day before he couldn't breathe good.

I seen both boys in the yard and they were hugging and crying. I felt so bad for them. They had stayed with him for several years. I seen the Dad of the boys pull up and he ran over and hugged them.

Everyone left but one police car. Waiting for the hearse. That hearse was a surprise. I guess I hadn't seen one in awhile. Not the long black car it used to be. This was white and like an SUV. I seen them roll him out of the house on a  stretcher and put him in the hearse. I felt such a feeling of sadness for the boys and for the man. He had lived there for the last five years or so. I didn't know him real well but I knew him.

The next day people came over and moved everything out of the house. It didn't take long. It was a small house. One day he was alive. The next day he was gone like he had never been there.

When something like this happens I know people wonder why they didn't do more. I am wondering that tonight. I could have took him to ER and maybe he could have lived. Maybe I should have made more of an attempt to be a good neighbor.

Easter and a Movie.....

I started cleaning my house yesterday in preparation for family and friends coming over for Easter today. My house takes awhile to clean because it is not small. I cleaned several rooms yesterday and then after breakfast I started cleaning again.

I did stop what I was doing and went to church this morning. We had been instructed to bring a flower. We all had to walk up to the front and place our flower on the table where the offering is left. I thought the service was very good today. Really a blessing.

Today was my son, Charles birthday too. After church I had to go pick up his cake and a few other things I had forgotten. Then rush home and finish making devilled eggs, glazed carrots and sweet potatoes. Everyone that came brought something so that helped. My son Dustin made a smoked ham.Jana brought dressing, green beans and rolls. She made lemon bars and some kind of a cake made out of rice krispies. My friend and Jana's mom in law brought her famous potato salad and red beans. And then of course we had birthday cake for Charles.

First we had dinner, then the kids hunted eggs and then we had cake and Charles opened his presents.After everyone left I thought I would just relax all evening. But a friend called wanting to know if I wanted to go see "Miracles From Heaven." I had been wanting to see it. It was very good. made me cry three times. It was so cold in the movie theatre.

I was glad to get home and be warm. So now I am sitting on my bed in my PJ's and fixing to read on my book. Nice and cozy tonight. What more could a girl ask for?

First Day of Spring....Palm Sunday

The first day of spring was kind of cold. I hope it warms up soon. I am very cold natured because I have no meat on my bones. I am so ready for spring.

Started out this morning going to church. Jana and the kids went with me. Kaylee had to sit by me. When church barely started she was asking if she could come home with me after church. I said , Yes long as you let me have my nap."

I love the church I go too. They have drums, guitar and piano.I have been to several Baptist churches but never none like this.  The pastor said next week no one was getting in the door unless they had one flower in their hand. I wonder what that is for.

I took Jana and the boys home and then Kaylee and I came to my house. We found some lunch and then I told her it was naptime but she could watch cartoons on my bed. I turned it to SpongeBob so she was happy. I didn't get woke up but once .

After we got up I told Kaylee I would have to take her home because I had to go run an errand. She wanted to go with me so I let her. She knows where the mall is. We were driving by it and she says, " Lets go to the mall. I want to see Santa."

I told her Santa was no longer there. She used to cry when she had to take her picture with Santa. I think this was the first year she didn't cry. Kids can be so funny sometimes.

After running my errand we went back home. She still wasn't ready to go to her  home. I always let her get my cars I have in my office. They are miniature old cars. She played with them awhile and then said she was ready to go home now. I took her home.

After I got back home I watched the last of the Fuller House shows. Now I am sitting on my bed on my laptop. Fixing to read a little of "The Girl on the Train." Then its off to sleep for me. Tomorrow is another day and I hope it is a good one.

God Sent Me An Angel Today.......

I knew Julie's birthday was coming up. I wanted to go down to Sweetwater this past weekend to the Rattlesnake Round Up and at the same time I could visit Julie and put flowers on her grave since her birthday was coming up today. There were no motels available . A friend of mine that rents houses thought she might have a house but she didn't. Anyway nothing turned out right.

I always put pictures on facebook  of Julie on her birthday and on the  date of her death. I never want to forget her and I know I never will because I think about her every single day. This morning on her birthday I was feeling kind of down because I couldn't put flowers on her grave. I mentioned it in a post that I couldn't. A friend on my page put that she would do that for me if I would give her directions.

I sent her  a private message giving her directions. This lady is my friend but I have never actually met her. What really got me about this day my friends that I do know and some of them knew Julie no one offered to do what she done. She text her boss and told him she would be late. She said my directions were great. She had no problem going right there. I have been there many times. In a cemetery it is kind of hard sometimes to find the right place. She said she put the old flowers next to her because they had none. She put beautiful purple and pink real flowers on her grave.

That was the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. She says God told her to do it. It eased my pain somewhat to know there are good people in this world. She is an angel sent to me I think. I will be forever grateful. She said she lost a good friend a month ago and her name was Julie. Our two Julie's are up in heaven together like she told me today. Every time I think of what she done for me today tears roll down my face!

Thank you so much Tere! I will never forget it!

I Love the Time Change.....

I love it when it gets dark later. I don't like getting out that much after it gets dark. Tonight I ran to the store. Makes the time go a little faster at night. I seem to get bored on Sundays but today went pretty fast.

It was church this morning. A nap this afternoon. I made myself a Pot Pie and a Twice Baked Potato for dinner. After dinner I went to the store and got that new book I been wanting. "A Girl's Guide to Moving on" By Debbie Macomber. I got back and watched a couple of shows on TV. Now it is reading time. I just started "The Girl On The Train" By Paula Hawkins. That has been on the top ten list for a long time.

There are so many authors today. So many mystery books I don't have. Some other books I like too but mysteries are my favorite. I have a stack of over a hundred books I have not read yet. When a new book comes out with my favorite authors I have to get them . I can read a book in about two weeks. I read mostly at night. I am always reading on a book . When I die I hope I got a book with me.

I wanted to go to the Rattlesnake Round Up this weekend in Sweetwater. I didn't make it. One thing it was raining on Saturday and I will not make a long trip if it is raining ever since I was in that tornado in my car. And then I was waiting to hear from a friend of mine who has rental property . She was going to let me stay in one of her empty houses that is fully furnished. Guess she didn't have one. All motels and hotels were booked up because people come from all over the world for that event. Maybe I will make it next year.

Off to bed I go now. Read and then sleep. I have a good life. I can sleep long as I want too in the morning. Although I guarantee it wont be late. I have never done that in my lifetime.

Nice Birthday for Lana and I

My daughter in law Lana and I have the same birthday. Only difference is she was 33 and I was 71. She is from Bosnia and one of the nicest ladies I have ever met. She and my son Dustin have been together for 17 years. Jana gives me a party every year and I share my birthday with Lana. I could not ask for a better daughter in law.

This birthday started out with my son Allen telling me Happy Birthday last night. It was 5 pm here but 12:01 am in Europe where he was visiting his daughter Tobi who is in college this semester in Prague.

I went to church this morning. I go to a small church and the pastor asks if there are any birthdays today. You have to go stand in front and they sing Happy Birthday to you. I told him when I was standing up front, " I don't usually do this kind of stuff."

He said, " We won't embarrass you, I promise. " I have always been shy and that hasn't changed in all these years. I don't like attention drawn to me.

After church my son John called to tell me Happy Birthday and then my daughter Darla called. This is a texting world now. On a special day Darla always calls though.

After I hung up with Darla it was time to go to my party at Jana's. She made enchiladas, rice and red beans. Very good food and then a lovely cake.

Then it was time to open presents. I got a very nice bird bath. It is red, white and blue. A blue ray DVD player. A $15 gift card to Barnes and Noble and cash. I had already gotten a birthday dinner last night and a pedi on Friday. All in all I had a nice birthday.

I have never thought I would make it to 71. My Dad lived to be 92 and lately I think I probably will too. I am pretty healthy. I take no medicine. Just Vitamin D and K. I was taking anxiety medicine but I quit. I try to help my anxiety by staying calm and not get stressed. Long as I don't have a man in my life I am usually not too stressed.

Tonight I am just grateful for my life. I am healthy. I have got friends and family. I have got a nice soft bed to sleep in . I have got a nice house and I will wake up (hopefully) in the morning and it will be a great day. What else could anyone ask for?

Busy Sunday.....

I used to dread Sundays because they seemed so long and boring. Today was busy though all day. First of all I went to church. I went alone because Jana had something she had to do. I have not missed a Sunday since the pastor's wife passed away. I think that really made me think how short life can be. One never knows when it will be your time.

I went to church as a child. My Mom insisted on it. She was a Sunday School teacher. After I grew up I went sometimes. Sometimes I had a long spell where I didn't go. Now I am back on track and don't plan on missing any unless I just have too. My Mom would be very happy. I forgot how that saying goes but it means once you are taught to go to church when you get older you go back to it. I know that is true.

The pastor's son David preached today. I really do like him. He could pass for a twin with my son John. I really liked his sermon. I thought I was going to get out of church without crying today but that didn't happen. He was trying to prove a point and he started talking about when Lucy was in the hospital hooked up on machines when she was already with God. And how the preacher was holding her hand but she was gone. So very sad. His voice was breaking as he was saying this.

Anyway I got through church and went to Taco Bueno and got a tostado and lime cilantro rice for lunch. After I ate lunch I was going to meet a friend at the Movie Tavern. We were going to see"How to Be Single." Like I don't know how. I have been single most of my life. It was a good movie except for the language . It was funny at least.

After the movie I drove straight to Janas house to pick her up. We had to clean a car lot that we have cleaned for ten years. We got that done and she wanted to go to Big Lots. After Big Lots we went to Lowe's. She is a bigger shopper than I am. Believe that or not but it is true.

Then I took her home. I went home myself. Made myself a pot pie and a peach cobbler. Now it is bedtime so off I go to bed. Tomorrow is another day.

This Sunday is About Over.....

This Sunday is about over for me. Just put on my PJ's. On the bed. Of course I will read before I go to sleep. That is my nightly ritual. Makes me feel happy and secure.

I went to church this morning. Jana, Kaylee and Kaiden went with me. This was Kaylee's first time to go to church. After the singing is over, the kids go around and collect money people give for the offering for the kids to do stuff . I didn't know if Kaylee would know what to do. I thought she might think the money was for her. But she seen the other kids get the money and take it to the front and put in the pan . She did it too. Then she went to the children's church. She done good.

Ever since the pastor's wife died he mentions her and his voice breaks and you can tell he is on the verge of tears and it make's me cry. I thought today it wasn't going to happen but at the very end he was talking about his Lucy and then this older lady was going to be her last time at the church. She was going to go live with her daughter . The pastor told her at least she wouldn't have to be in the nursing home anymore. She said, " No, but it wont be in Fort Worth." You could tell it made her so sad to have to leave. I wish I could help people like that. Anyway the tears ran down my face. I reached down to get my purse for a Kleenex and bumped my forehead on the seat ahead of me. Ouch!

After church Kaylee went home with me. We went to Taco Bueno and got some nachos we shared. After we ate I thought we would take a nap. We lay down on my bed and I turned the TV on for Kaylee. I read a little bit in my book. Fell asleep but she never did. She woke me three times. Finally I just got up and we went out to the family room and watched TV until she got ready to go home.

Took her home then went to the store to get some laundry soap. Didn't even fix dinner tonight. Just snacked a little on cookies and chips. I know that is not a good meal but I don't like fixing anything just for me.

I watched a good movie that was not the kind I should have watched. But my favorite kind. Mystery. I can hear the rain outside.  Now I am off to bed.....

The 50's Were the Best Years ....

I am watching the Grammy's tonight. I don't mean to criticize but whatever happened to good singing? I have Sirrus Radio and I listen to 50's pop mostly and some old country. I think the best music was in the 50's. I know Elvis was the best singer of all times. I am sorry folks but there will never be another singer in my lifetime or yours better than Elvis. And then there was Jerry Lee Lewis, Fats Domino, Little Richard . Brenda Lee and Connie Francis. Such good singers of the 50's.

I do like country now but I also loved George Jones, Gary Stewart, Tammy Wynette and even Johnny Cash. Of course they are all gone. Since I listen to Sirrus Radio  I don't hear much new music but I see on the Grammy's Taylor Swift is still a winner. A lot of that RapI heard tonight  you don't have to have a voice . Just talking.

It's not just singing from the 50's either. Cars of that era were great too. I can see a 55' or 56' Ford or Chevy and instantly know what model and make it is. The cars we have  now I cant tell what kind or what year it is. I wonder why that is? My brother restores these old cars I am talking about. They are a beauty when he gets through.

Then there was the way we dressed . Bobby sox and loafers and what ever those black and white shoes with laces were called. I still have some. Pleated skirts and tight skirts were in style. Some of these styles have come back. I am so glad! I have a tight skirt and pleated skirt. Shifts were in style back then and I loved them. My Mom made my clothes and I could just tell her about a style and she could make it. I was in style!

Movies from way back have been remade too. As well as shows on TV have been redone. I wonder if that will happen with things they have now. Will the kids of today think this was the best years ? I guess it is the years of technology but I don't know about music.

I am just glad I can say I am glad I was a teenager in the 50's. I remember Elvis well! I remember when Buddy Holley and Ritchie Valens got killed in a plane crash. As well as Patsy cline and Ricky Nelson. My brother use to have a 36' Ford he took me for a ride in. There were a lot of things we done back then that cant be done now. But we had no cell phones or computers but we didn't miss it. We had books to read. I grew up with Nancy Drew. And I am so glad!

Saturday........What Shall I do Tonight?

Like a lot of Saturdays .....I don't do too much. Kaylee spent the night last night and stayed until almost 2 today. We had fun. We watched cartoons. We ate junk. You can do that with your grandkids. She loves staying here. And why shouldn't she? She gets all the attention. She gets to watch what she wants to on TV.

After she left I took a much needed nap. She kind of tires me out. Makes me know I am getting old. Kids used to not tire me. I have to take a nap every day now where I didn't used to do that. I am always glad for her to come. I am glad for her to leave. After my nap then I miss her.

Tonight I am watching a movie on Hallmark, Appetite For Love. Taylor Cole that is in it is from Arlington. I read about her in the paper this morning. It is kind of cold in my family room tonight. I am on my bed with my laptop, letters to answer, books to read and a movie to watch so I think I got plenty to do. It might not be what I want to do sometimes but sometimes it is just nice to stay in and relax.

Tomorrow I will go to church and then watch the Super Bowl. We will have some chips and dip and sandwiches. I want to pay attention to the guy that "The Blind Side" was about. He will be playing.

Tonight I feel so grateful that I have a nice house to live in. I can watch TV or write or read or do anything I want too. I might get bored sometimes but I just need to stop and think what a nice life I have .  I am so cold natured. Thank goodness I don't have to get out in the cold much. Unless it is cold those two days I work.

This is probably the easiest time in my life. Not too much stress. Just boredom sometimes. And I can live with that.

Death's Come in Three's .......Is That an Old Wife's Tale

This last summer my ex husband Paul died in June and the same week my grandson Devon did. A few weeks later my friend Rosie who lived in Sweetwater passed away. That was three. This past week my Pastor's wife Lucy died. That same day my daughter Darla told me her co worker died over the weekend. Then on Wednesday Elvis Pressley died. (That really is his name.) His brother Jerry is the reason I moved here to Fort Worth but after five years he died.

Anyway another three. That sounds like to me it really is true that death comes in three's. Like my son said. " Death comes in 3's, Mom. So no sweat." I am good to go for this time I guess. It just seems like lately a lot of people are dying around my age. That is kind of scary. I know we all have  got to go whenever the lord decides to take us but no one is ever ready I don't guess.

My daughter Jana and her son Conner and I went to church this morning. I knew it was going to be bad without Lucy there. I didn't guess what was going to happen though. The choir started singing. Without Lucy there leading them it wasn't too great. The singing kept fading off. They were all crying. Everyone in that church was crying. It is a small church. The pastor's son David got up to talk. He said no preaching today. He was a song leader at one time too but he just couldn't do it this first time back with no Lucy.

Pastor Jack went to the piano and sang a song that he sang at Lucy's funeral. It was just heartbreaking. Then David put a chair in the aisle for him to sit in. He told everyone to stand up and stand behind the pastor. They had two microphones and anybody could say anything about Lucy or tell the Pastor anything they wanted to. A lot of people told him how much they thought of Lucy. I wanted to say what she meant in my life but shy me just couldn't do it. I am not good talking in front of a crowd but I am good on paper so here goes.

Lucy loved people and it showed in the way she acted toward everyone. Every time I went to church she greeted me and when I left she always hugged me and ask how I was and she was praying for me. I have been to several different church's but never seen any pastors wife do all Lucy done. Like one guy said today, " She was the backbone of this church." It is going to be so hard for the members and for the preacher to go on without her. Like his son said today, " We buried her. Now this is the first Sunday without her here. Next week will be the second time without her. We will never forget her and we don't even want too but it will get easier." I can testify to that. I didn't lose a spouse but I lost a child.

Goodbye Lucy. You are missed and will always be missed.

Lucy......Nicest Lady I Ever Met

Tonight I went to the visitation of my Pastor's wife Lucy who passed away on Monday. Tomorrow will be her funeral. I am so glad I got to meet her. Like the pastor told me tonight. She loved people! There were so many people there tonight. You could tell she was a well liked lady. I had to wait in line for almost an hour to view her body.

The pastor was standing close by and talking to everyone. I told him, "Why did this happen?"

He said, " I don't know."

I said, " She was so nice to me. Always a hug and saying she was praying for me."

He said, " She loved people. Look here at all these people." He waved his hand out over the pews. Full house. Flowers everywhere.

I have seen pastors wife's help their husbands some but I have never seen anyone that done as much as her. She led the choir in singing. Sometimes she sang a song alone. Sometimes the pastor sang with her. She done all the announcements. She done whatever needed to be done until it was time for him to preach.

One time when I went to church I hadn't been for awhile because I had been sick. In the middle of announcing all the things that was going to be happening she looks at me over the audience and says, " Are you okay?"

I said, " Are you talking to me? She nodded. I said," I am fine."

She said," I been praying for you ." I have never been one to like attention drawn to me and everyone turn around and look at me. But she made me feel like she really cared.

We are going to all miss her. The pastor most of all. She was always the center of that church. What are they going to do without her?

RIP Lucy......

Boring Weekend......

It's been a boring weekend even though I had a UTI and taking medicine. No alcohol and no caffeine. lol I should have liked just lying around and resting after the hectic time I had in the rain doing the papers I do. It just seems like the weekends are more boring than during the week. I am not your normal 70 year old.

I have never felt my age for one thing. Maybe all the kids kept me younger. They certainly kept me on my toes. And now all the  grandkids .I love kids! I always have. Guess that is why I had nine. Soon as one of my kids got past two I wanted another baby. And now all my kids are thru having babies as far as I know. It is up to the grand kids to have the babies now.

I know Sundays are supposed to be the day of rest. Supposed to be God's day for us. Some of us have to work on that day even though we are not supposed too. I had to do a little cleaning because it is the only day we can do it. I hope God will forgive me for that.

I do like to read the Sunday paper. I like to see all the ads. Other than that I just watched football and looked at some of my magazines.

Looking forward to it being Monday morning soon. I know  a lot of people don't like to see Mondays cause it is back to work. I only work on Wednesday and Thursday of this week so I don't mind Mondays. It beats the weekend when you don't do anything. I got plenty to do here too. It is just not anything I want to do. Therefore I didn't do any of it. When your single you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I like that! So some of my days may be boring but it gets better. Everyday is a new day and we never know what tomorrow might bring.

How The Amber Alert Was Started........

Last night when I wrote about Amber Hagerman I didn't know why or how the Amber Alerts got started. This morning I read in the paper how it got started and I just wanted to write about that in case someone else wants to know.

Diana R. Simone who is a massage therapist had the idea. Since then 794 children have been rescued. Simone is now 70. Simone and a client Rev. Tom Stoker were talking about what had just happened and crying about it that day on the massage table.

In that day the cell phones were brick-size and she wondered aloud if an alert could be sounded for missing children. The Reverend ask her how about the radio? Simone called KDMX/102 and the Amber Alert was born.

Two decades later, it's working the way she had imagined it. The new cellphone Amber Alerts have rescued 21 children.

At that time , seven radio stations from competing chains did the hard work to set up a local broadcast alert system, similar for thunderstorms.

Until 2002 , the radio managers always credited a "listener idea" and Simone remained anonymous. It was Stoker who got a copy of her follow up letter and KDMX officials confirmed it.

In 2002 , she said she had never told anyone it was her idea because it seemed to be working.

The incidence of child abductions by strangers has declined since 1996,the alerts also discourage family abductions.

With the alerts it puts a million eyes on the lookout in a matter of minutes.

Diane Simone is very modest about it. She says and I quote, "The heroes are the police looking for these children , and the firefighters, and the people working in the battered women's shelters. I only did something, just one thing, one time."

Look how many times it has worked. 794 times.

I only wish it could have been thought off before Amber, before  a lot of kids lost their lifes.

There is Always Something Worse.....Even in Death

Reading in the paper and on Facebook about the 20th anniversary of Amber Hagerman's abduction made me stop and think about what a horrible death she must have went through. My ex sister in law that was married to my brother was her Aunt. Her sister who was Amber's grandma I knew back when we all lived in Brownwood. One never knows what might happen.

Amber was the same age as my daughter was when she died, 9 years old. My daughter died in a house fire. That was a horrible death. No one knows how much she suffered. The firemen told me the smoke probably over come her before she suffered too much. Maybe they just wanted me to feel better. Or maybe it is really true.

The suffering Amber had to go thru was worse I am sure. No telling what that monster did to her plus he slit her throat. That had to be so horrible for that little girl to go thru all of that. And then for the parents to have to wonder what all happened and what she probably went through. That has to be a nightmare one could never get over.

I know kids have been abducted before she was. I don't know why they decided to do the Amber alerts after her death. I know it is a good thing. It has helped countless kids be found. Amber's Mom has helped a lot with her speaking to people about it and just all kinds of things she has done.

They have never found Amber's killer either. You would think someone would know something about that day or he might have told someone about it. Nothing can bring Amber back but it would help to know that monster is not walking around trying to find other little girls to abduct and kill.

I will never forget Julie and I will never forget Amber either. May they both RIP. Maybe they are both in heaven playing together. They are forever 9 years old.

A Better Year

I know this is going to be a better year than last year. I feel it in my bones. In all reality you can make it better. You just got to work at it. And that is what I plan on doing.

I didn't make any New Year resolutions. I never keep them anyway. I can still do things without resolutions. . I am going to work on my writing more starting in the morning. Devote a few hours a day to that at least. I didn't work on it that much last year. I meant too. But before I knew it the year was over.

One reason is I spent all day texting when I wasn't working. A lot of us do that. My problem was I couldn't get away from Guy. I  tried. We had not been together actually since August I think. It's hard to remember. We had actually broke up three times After  a few months I would go back. Not this time . It is over. Too many lies on his part. He just kept texting and wouldn't give up. I would text him and then next thing you know I was listening to his lies again.

This year I decided I am not going to keep on being stressed by him. I want a new year. I want a new life. Right now it is alone. I can live alone. It is kind of nice actually being able to do what one wants too. I do talk occasionally to  a new guy but who knows where that will lead too. I am just taking it slow. If it turns out to be more that is okay. If it don't I am happy being alone. There is no hurry. I got the rest of my life.