Being Single Is Okay

Everyone knows I came back to Fort Worth and I came alone. I thought it would be hard because I had been with Guy the last 9 months. It was hard. There is an adjustment to everything that you do I guess.

It is strange when you think about it. When you first meet someone everything is so great. You think this is the one. You will be with this person forever. He is so nice. He treats you like a princess. What ever person should do when they get with a guy that has been married several times is talk to his ex and see what she has to say about him. I am sure it is not good. Of course a lot of women would not be willing to tell you about the relationship. But then there are the ones who would like to broadcast how bad he was.

When I first met Guy I didn't even think he was the one. I liked him but not a lot. I guess it grew after that. The more I saw of him the better I liked him.  I had been alone for a couple of years. Sitting home alone not going out much since I didn't like going alone. I thought it was neat getting to go out to eat or to a movie. He always opened the door for me. He was a real gentleman. I was very impressed. I thought I was in love.

Then he got me an engagement ring. It was a square cut that was the prettiest ring I had ever seen. I would just stare at it a lot. I had never had one that pretty. I admit it was nice getting all that attention. I also thought it would be nice to have someone to share things with and not have to worry about everything by yourself.

Guy moved to Sweetwater with me and from there everything went downhill. I don't even know why. Maybe because just us two were there and my kids were here. He always said he couldn't wait until we were there by ourselves because here I always had some kid living with me. After we got there though I found it to be boring. Not much shopping in Sweetwater . We really didn't do much. How things could change that much I don't know but it did.

We had just got unpacked when I came down with a stomach virus and then a week later I got the kidney stone. Guy tried to help me but he wasn't a  good cook. He couldn't do much to help me. He sat outside a lot. I lay in bed because I couldn't even sit up I was in so much pain.

Finally I decided I had rather be single. I packed some stuff and I came back to Fort Worth. My time has went fast here spending a lot of time with my grand kids. I don't know if I will always be single but for now it is just  fine.

Back Home in Fort Worth

Tonight I am back home in Fort Worth. It is comfortable to be back in my house that I have lived in for twelve years. I thought Sweetwater was where I wanted to be mostly but I was wrong. I can go there now and then but not to stay.

Maybe it was getting sick and being there almost helpless for a month straight. No family around. I got where everything made me so sick to even think of. All I did was sleep . I couldn't hardly eat. And having pain from a kidney stone is one of the worst pains there is. I just have the stent now and it is very painful too.

Tuesday I go to a urologist and see if it is time to get the stent out. I hope so. This has been horrible. I will drink lemonade the rest of my life. They say lemon water keeps the kidney stones away.

After I got back here I been eating over my daughters and I think I have gained a pound after losing 11 pounds. I don't want to get down in the 90's again. It is so hard for me to gain weight. It has been that way all my life. I know lots of people have trouble losing weight. Just like I do gaining weight.

After I finally get well I plan on concentrating real hard on writing. I have a course I am doing. Trying to get good enough to write magazine articles. I will continue to write my blog. I will continue to get on facebook. Try to find things to keep my life busy.

Today my daughter Jana went to church with me and her three boys Kaiden, Connor and Colton. I wasn't feeling real good because with that stent I am sick to my stomach when I first get up and take the pain pill. Feeling sick to the stomach is not a good feeling. I felt weak and shaky but it is mostly just sitting and listening to the preacher. He does have us stand quiet a bit. I said I can do it. I am tough. Look what God has done for me. I can come to worship in his house. I made it. They had a Thanksgiving lunch there so we stayed for that. It was all very nice.

Tonight two of my grandkids are spending the night with me. I am watching the Cowboys play. All comfy on the sofa. My world is going great tonight and hopefully it gets better in days to come.

Kidney Stone Lasered and Stent is painful

The last two weeks have been a nightmare. Actually ever since I moved to Sweetwater has. At first I got a stomach virus and was throwing up then I was barely over that when all of a sudden I felt horrible pain that I knew could only be a kidney stone. That is what I told the ER doctor in Fort Worth a couple of months ago but he insisted it was a UTI . He was wrong.

When I went to ER here in Sweetwater they done a Ct Scan (something they failed to do in Fort Worth) and found a golf ball size stone. That had to be building up for awhile. I have heard a lot of people around Sweetwater say they would not ever go to Sweetwater hospital but I will disagree with them on that. They found what was wrong with me when Fort Worth doctors couldn't . That includes a urologist. He done all kinds of tests and said he didn't find a thing.

So now I am waiting to get this stent out on Thursday. Don't let anyone ever tell you those things don't hurt. I read online 80% are uncomfortable. I guess I don't tolerate pain very well because mine is more than uncomfortable. It hurts! I am sure it will hurt for a day or so afterwards too. But the worst has got to be over.

They say lemon water is good to prevent kidney stones so you can bet I will be drinking a glass or two of that everyday. Hopefully the doctor can tell me something to prevent it too. I never want another one of those things.

I had never had a surgery except for a D&C back when I had a miscarriage when I was about 23. I was doubly nervous about being put to sleep. All went well there. I remember breathing in oxygen thru a mask and next thing I know I was in recovery. Day surgery you get out in a few hours so that is good. And laser surgery not having to be cut on is great too. Now if they could just laser that stent out instead of dragging it all the way out. That would be great but not likely to happen. I am dreading that but looking forward at the same time. At this point things can only get better. So until Thursday I am going to lie in bed with pain pills and all the liquids I can find plus food and lots of books. Come on Thursday.