I Reached 105 Today!

It has taken me about 5 years to get back to 105. I got an anxiety problem when I was still married to Jeff. I don't know if he was the cause of it or not. I just know I weighed 125 and I went down to 93. I started seeing a therapist and I tried everything he told me to do. Write in my journal every day. Look at the tree in my back yard and think peaceful thoughts . Be positive.  I tried everything but nothing helped much.

I had a swallowing problem and it wasn't anything wrong with my throat. If I was happy I could swallow better. If I was stressed I couldn't hardly eat at all. I could snack better than I could eat meals. I learned to take a drink of water with every bite I took. If the phone rang I couldn't talk while I was seating. I was a basket case. I know I have came a long ways when I see how much I have improved.

One year at Christmas I had cooked all morning and sat down to eat with the family. I took about five bites and all of a sudden I just could not swallow. I sat there with tears rolling down my face. Jeff ask me what was wrong. No one understood what I was going thru. It was so hard to explain. The therapist said I had post traumatic stress like soldiers get from the tragedy I had when my daughter died.

After Jeff left I very gradually got better. Every meal was such a problem to get thru. I lived on crackers and candy for awhile. I dreaded every meal. Most people take for granted to be able to eat. The more I had the problem the more I worried about every bite I took. Of course it didn't get any better.

Just this year it has all gotten better. I still worry sometimes but most of the time I don't even think about it. Up until I was 50 years old I weighed 95 lbs. My sister never weighed over 89 lbs. Her two boys were very small like her. Some of my grandchildren are small too so it is all inherited I guess.

I try eating anything fattening I can and it has helped. I gained a few ounces a week . Finally today I stepped on the scale and it showed I weighed 105 I was overjoyed. That means a lot to me. I over come a lot of problems and I done it alone. And I got off of anxiety medicine the doctor told me I would never be able to get off of after 5 years. I feel like I have accomplished so much. And I have!