No caffeine for Me

Why me? Why am I the one who can't have caffeine? Even Kaylee can have caffeine. I haven't been able to have very much of it for 30 years now. Ever since I found out I have mitral valve prolapse. That was at the same time we had the house fire. I was also three months pregnant with Jana at the age of 40. So I don't know which one contributed more to it. Maybe all of them.


When I was a teen ager and carhopping at 14 I had a coke for breakfast and a Reese's cup. Both had caffeine. At that time it didn't bother me. Even when I got older and I drank a six pack of cokes a day it didn't bother me.


I never noticed it at all until I found out after the fire that my heart was skipping beats like every five seconds. 130 beats a minute. I was put on quinidine and then I could have anything I wanted long as I took those four pills a day. I did that for 15 years until one day I noticed my heart rate was 55. I had to get off the medicine. It was like a crutch and without it I felt like my crutch was gone. Last fifteen years has been without meds. Doctor wanted to put me on beta blockers but they slow your heart rate down plus they slow your blood pressure too. I don't need either one of those any slower.


I had never realized how many things have caffeine until I started having to do without it. At parties everyone knows not to have chocolate cake when I am there. Tea has caffeine and lots of kind of sodas. I love York Mints. I can eat a few but if I eat very many my heart starts quivering around until I cut way back on those. It is very hard to not eat chocolate. I love brownies and fudge. So why me? What did I do to deserve this?


I have had holter monitors and EKG's and sonograms of my heart and they always say it is very mild. If it is so mild how come my heart has such an irregular heartbeat? And I know it makes it worse worrying about it. But I have always been a worrier.


Anyway I guess I will just keep on trying to eat a little chocolate. I know I can't drink coffee and never liked it anyway. They do have caffeine free coke and tea so I can have some of that.


If they would just make chocolate now without caffeine I would be in heaven....