Anxiety and Stress

Sometimes I have a lot of anxiety. It comes less and less these days. For three years I took anxiety medicine. I don't take any medicine now but every now and then it comes back. When it does I just look out the window and take some deep breaths. Relax.


It all happened about three years ago I guess. I was at a restaurant eating and all of a sudden I couldn't swallow. I didn't think much about it at the time. Then a few weeks later it happened again. Then next thing I knew it was happening all the time. No explanation. Just out of the blue. I went to a doctor and he suggested I see a therapist. He put me on anxiety medicine too.


I went to the therapist for about six months. He helped me so much. I really didn't think it would help. He said I had a lot of anger built up maybe from when we had the fire and my daughter died.
I do have a temper. I try to control it but sometimes it comes out anyway. I also had two flashbacks of my brother who had epilepsy when I was a child. So maybe something about the seizures was bothering me.


The therapist  had me write in a journal every day and look out the window and think peaceful thoughts. My kids got me a big fish aquarium because that can be peaceful. He said when I eat take a small sip of water and little bites and I did and that worked.


I really didn't think I would get over it. But to this day I have a glass of water by me at all times. It took a long time to get over it. It was so bad I was almost afraid to eat alone. If I was eating and the phone rang I couldn't answer it.


It had to be something in my head because it did get better. The therapist said I had the stress syndrome like soldiers got in the war. I guess that was caused from the fire we had . It also made me have an irregular heartbeat which I still have today. It's been thirty years.


During this time I got down to 93 lbs. I have always been small but that is ridiculous. Now I weigh 111. I am on the road to recovery.


Don't ever let anyone tell you that a therapist can't help. He saved my life.  That is when I got off the pills. I thank God every day for my health. No one thinks about it until it happens. Eating is something that we do naturally. When all of a sudden you can't that is a very scary feeling.